We are all so “connected” nowadays. Everywhere you look, you see people of all ages engrossed in the online world. Children are asking for smartphones at younger ages, while many parents seem so attached to their devices that they barely pay attention to their children. This raises an important question: how is being connected to your phone affecting your child’s emotional development and family relationships?
A Real Example of Parent Distraction
A colleague recently shared an experience from her last dental visit. A father brought his two young children, both under the age of six, and all three were absorbed in devices (the father on his phone and each child on an iPad).
When the little boy was being examined, the dentist told him he had his first loose tooth. The child was thrilled and kept saying, “Daddy! Daddy, my tooth is loose!” The father, however, barely acknowledged his son and did not look up from his phone. Finally he said, “Uh huh, that’s great.” The disappointment on the child’s face was heartbreaking and unmistakable.
In effect, the father communicated that whatever was on his phone was more important than his child.
Are Parents Addicted To Their Phones?
Several studies and many experts say the answer is “yes.”
A 2015 study done by the online security company, AVG Technologies, found that more than 50 percent of the children who took part in the research ”felt that their parents checked their devices too often (54 percent); and their biggest grievance, when given a list of possible, bad device habits, was that their parents allowed themselves to be distracted by their device during conversations (36 percent) – something that made a third of the complainants feel unimportant (32 percent).”
How does this affect a child’s development? Children learn things like social cues, how to regulate emotions, and how to have conversations by watching and copying their parents. If a parent is hardly interacting with their child, it stunts the child’s development in these social skills.
In an opinion article in USAToday, Theresa H. Rodgers, a speech-language pathologist and the 2020 president of the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA), stated that, “Many of my colleagues across the nation say they are seeing more children entering kindergarten with limited communication and social skills. Older children, they say, are unable to handle formal social interactions, like ordering from waitstaff at a restaurant.”
How Does This Affect Child Development?
Children learn social cues, emotional regulation, and conversational skills by watching and copying their parents. If a parent rarely interacts with their child in a focused way, these social skills can be stunted.
In an opinion article by former president of the American Speech‑Language‑Hearing Association (ASHA), Theresa H. Rodgers argues that parental smartphone use can interfere with children’s communication development. Many clinicians report children entering kindergarten with limited communication and social interaction abilities.
Read Rodgers’ perspective here: Parents’ Smartphone Use Could Be the New Secondhand Smoke.
How Phone Use Affects Family Relationships
According to an article on NPR, pediatrician Dr. Jenny Radesky became concerned about how cell phones affect family interactions after observing a mother who ignored her infant in favor of watching a YouTube video. This inspired a summer observation of family behavior in fast food restaurants. The study found that 40 out of 55 parents used mobile devices during meals, often prioritizing phones over children’s behavior and engagement.
When children feel ignored, they often act out to seek attention. Psychologist Catherine Steiner‑Adair explores these dynamics in her book The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age. She explains that children whose parents prioritize devices over interaction may feel “they don’t matter, they’re not interesting to us, they’re not as compelling as any ping or notification.”
Steiner‑Adair’s research included interviews with 1,000 children ages 4 to 18, many of whom said they felt sad, angry, lonely, or unimportant when parents were on their phones. Some even admitted to hiding or damaging their parents’ smartphones out of frustration.
Emotional and Developmental Consequences for Children
When children do not receive adequate attention from caregivers:
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They may develop lower self‑esteem and emotional regulation difficulties.
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They may struggle with recognizing social cues and engaging in conversations.
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They may experience increased anxiety and behavioral problems.
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Their ability to form secure emotional attachments may be undermined.
These impacts highlight the importance of mindful parenting and limiting unnecessary device distraction.
Tips to Reduce Your Phone Dependence
Breaking your dependence on screen time can be challenging but it’s one of the most impactful changes you can make for your family. Try the following strategies:
- Limit your device use to essential communications only when with your child. Put your phone away during playtime and conversations.
- Create screen‑free routines. Keep bedrooms, mealtimes, and playtimes free of phones and tablets.
- Use reminders or apps to track and restrict screen time. Many built‑in tools can help monitor usage.
- Turn off most notifications. Reducing alerts limits interruptions during family time.
- Delete or limit social media apps. Removing social feeds from your home screen lowers temptation.
- Stop using your phone as an alarm clock. Using a separate alarm device can prevent early morning scrolling.
These changes help ensure that your child feels prioritized and heard.
Contact Us to Learn More
For more information and help with breaking your cellphone addiction, contact the Children’s Center for Psychiatry Psychology and Related Services in Delray Beach, Florida or call us today at (561) 223-6568.